The Contact Service

If you wish to send me a private message, please fill out the following form;

After being tested for SPAM, your form will enter the initial review period, which normally lasts between ten (10) to thirty (30) days.

Upon being reviewed, the receiving party (from now on The Guy) may take up to fifteen (15) days to fully read (although he might not understand) the form, depending on how many other forms are pending in the given periods.

If the form is so un-understandable that The Guy needs to seek additional clarification (and God forbid translation), this period alone may last for at least another fifteen (15) to twenty (20) business days (which sometimes, but not always include weekends, and sometimes, but not always exclude the rest of the week).

When the form is completely read and (mis)understood, it will be placed in the “Awaiting Response” queue, where the forms await the creation of a personally tailed response.

For masterpiece responses the waiting times might be up to thirty (30) business days, while you might receive a mass-produced response in one (1) to five (5) business days.


Please remember that upon receiving a response, you have eight (8) days to completely read, understand, and reply to the aforementioned response, or you shall be blacklisted and hunted down for your valuables.

Please enjoy our contact service!


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